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“Tatay, What is Love?”


For the past two years that I have been homeschooling my son, “love” has become a staple word in our household: “I love you, anak” , “Love God is the first commandment”, “You have to love Tatay and Mommy”, “Love your baby brothers”, and the likes have been a part of our normal conversations. Just last night, Ezekiel and I were exchanging I love you’s until we dozed off to sleep. The word is an important part of our daily conversations. I realized lately though that we did not really devote a particular time to discuss the definition of the word within the context of the family. Though I remember that as part of our discussion on the faith, we had the chance to discuss love in its highest form as expressed by God though the cross of Christ… (talking about teaching theology to a six year old, hmmmm…)

Teaching kids about love and presenting it in the most colorful manner requires more than a structured discussion. We know that the idea must be a part of a lifestyle. We may not have discussed extensively about love as an idea but we ensured that they learn about love as a core value in how we treat each other. No better way for me to teach my children about love than to show them how much I love my wife, their mommy. As the title of my blog state, I am raising future fathers. I have to demonstrate how they must treat women. Their first picture of this would be my relationship with my wife.

I do not really have much of a choice. I am both a father and a husband. My children’s first point of reference of how to be a father and a husband (not now but in the future hehehe) is the example that I show them. It is only now that I appreciate God’s design of how marriages must be. After my relationship to the Lord, my wife comes next in the order of priority. My children comes after my wife. It cannot be children first before spouse. How can I teach my children about the proper way of relating to people when I would not relate properly to their mother? I know that there may be some peculiarities for each given situation especially those having marital problems. However, God designed it that way from the very beginning when he instituted marriage. To become an effective father, you have to become an effective husband first and foremost.

The love for a child is not meant to replace the love and affection of a father towards their mother. On the other hand, how a husband loves his wife will impact how well he will raise his children. Take note that it must be loving the wife unconditionally. This reminder goes out to those who may be encountering marital problems for whatever reason. The scripture says that a husband must love his wife as Christ loved the church. The love for one’s wife is not dependent on the latter’s response or conduct. Similarly, the Scripture has a set of commands towards wives. I will not touch on that aspect since this article is addressed to husbands/fathers.

“Tatay, what is love?” ….The best way to answer is to show them how. I may be able to teach them the deepest of theology. I can involve them in community/ministry works and show them how to impact other people… but unless I show them how to rightfully treat their mother first and become the best husband to my wife, love will remain to be a mystery to them.


For married couples staying here in the Philippines, I would like to invite you to our upcoming couple’s retreat this 18-19 August 2018 entitled “Moments of Love”. You may click on this link for details:

You may also invite married couples whom you know may be blessed by attending the said event.

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